Fashion: The Perfect Mask

“The mask of self-deception was no longer a mask for me, it was a part of me.” - Robert W. Chambers. How long can you wear a mask that never falls? Aren’t you tired of masking with the latest and greatest only to end up feeling missing and jaded? These are questions that puzzled my mind for years, juggling with my pride and sense of self-righteousness, while arousing my love affair with coping mechanisms. Fashion is one of, if not the most powerful art forms the world has, it is also the perfect chameleon for mental, emotional, and psychological distress. The thing about masks is they’re very easy to forget you have on, that is, until you want to take a cute bathroom selfie, and can’t recognize the individual staring back at you. “You make it look so good, I would’ve never thought that…!” I never thought either, and I hated the mere idea of feeling and addressing what I knew wasn’t right…so what did I do? *Adds to cart. Over the years, my closet became fuller, but my soul became restless. “How long can I wear this mask?” my spirit asked me again, but this time, with shorter patience. I didn’t have the answer, it’s challenging to realize you have a problem, but it’s even harder to combat a problem that society endorses as a woman and someone working in fashion. I felt crazy, in denial, “I’m not compartmentalizing, I just love fashion!” oh, the lies I told myself to cope with the bleakness of my reality. I just wanted to feel good, not realizing that the feeling I was longing for was waiting for me to embrace it. Fashion allows you to Miu Miu, Bottega, and Acne Studios your pains, because well… "you deserve to look good!", "invest in your wardrobe!" All the while, the fabrics on my back felt what I was going through, and wanted to be released from the bondage of my haute couture performance. I look back over the years with appreciation, gratitude, and most importantly, awareness. I now believe there is power in feeling where I once saw weakness and shame. As my negative inner voice grew, my acceptance did in the fashion industry, but at what cost? Mine. I was sacrificing my innate runway ‘25 ready-to-wear looks for trauma filled 08 turtle necks, not a fair trade if you ask me. Fashion is the perfect mask if you don’t want to face what is in front of you, and I sure as hell didn’t, because it made…it…real. But, reality is a blessing, in reality, you find peace, proof, and purpose. I couldn’t find who I was in my closet, and I definitely couldn't find who I was in my past. The moment I decided to stop masking and begin basking in the now, I was able to have the “perfect wardrobe” for me. These twenty-somethings and my years in the fashion industry have been eye-opening, but they have also shown me the power of a pivot in my mental psyche. You are only bound until you choose to believe you’re free.

Thumbnail Credentials: Ivan Samkov Of Pexels