Crazy In Love: Sophia Russell
Sophia Russell is a Poet, Hair Stylist, and Mental Health advocate who's decided to grace the Styling By Chi platform with her beautiful work. We hope you enjoy her work as much as we have!
Being in love is addictive as fuck. I hate falling in love, but at the same time I love it because it’s so addictive. Every time I’m with someone I like, I get high off of how they make me feel, the feeling of the “love chemicals” being released in my brain. When I become addicted to something, when I need another fix, I do anything and everything to obtain and keep it. However, I lose a miniscule piece of my heart each time. Months, even years later, after each break up, I wonder “If it hurts so bad, losing love, why do I keep searching for more, everywhere I go?” I’ll tell you why: I am addicted to love and desperately need another fix. What can I say? Love does that to you, or what I thought was love. Like every lovesick, hormonal teenager, I was wrong: it wasn’t love. Falling in love hurts. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love. When you finally fall out of love, the landing isn’t smooth or gentle, because falling out of love is just as intense as falling into it. If you can fall in love, then you can also fall out of it. I realized this Fall, that all of the times I was in love, I wasn’t searching for a spouse; I was really searching for intimacy, in more than just the physical way. Something I so desperately crave. It involves a lot of trust and acceptance that is so rare these days; something that I’m not sure I am even ready to handle yet, even though I want it so much. To let yourself trust that special person and undress in front of them in every way, shape, form; letting your guard down and connecting with another human being, bearing your soul to that person is intimacy. I mean that sounds really scary: to be physically, emotionally and/or psychologically vulnerable and naked to a whole separate human being other than yourself. That entails way more trust than people can imagine, more than people know how to handle. So why seek it if it seems like something people should be afraid of? Why do people run towards love and intimacy instead of away?
I have a theory: I am a nudist at heart; I want to be vulnerable, even naked in front of my love in every way, shape, and form possible. I want to willingly give all of myself to open and accepting arms. That’s intimacy. So whenever you fall in love, try to take all that you are feeling and find a way to turn it into intimacy. You do this by choosing to love them every second of every day. When it happens, become aware of what you are feeling. Be conscious about your choices. “Go wisely and slowly. Those who rush, stumble and fall.” In these overscheduled times, also learn to smell the roses and the coffee and his/her cologne/perfume when you wake up next to each other in bed, because forever is not guaranteed. Once the fire and passion in a new relationship subsides, you can turn that into lasting love by choosing to stay with and love that person day in and day out, warts and all.
That is how love never dies.
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